You don’t need to reveal your deepest secrets in your college essay!

I was brainstorming Common App personal essay topics with a student. They said they could think of a great topic, but it’s something only a few people in their life know about. Something tender and vulnerable.

I told this student it would probably be a hell of an essay, but if they’re not comfortable sharing about that topic, they shouldn’t. We would find another topic.

I follow essayist Samantha Irby’s rule for personal writing and encourage students to do the same: When it comes to writing for publication, do not write about anything that you have not fully processed yet.

Rather than choosing what they think might be the flashiest topic, students should approach the process from a place of authenticity and self-care. What is true for them? What are they comfortable sharing with a stranger?

They will not get a response to the essay, only an admission decision. If they write about a topic that is fraught for them, especially a traumatic experience, the admission decision may feel like a validation or invalidation of the worthiness of their story. It is not.

Students should absolutely bring their true selves to the college application process, but they should be kind to themselves. Whoever they are and wherever they are in their life’s journey, there is a college for them to attend.